Acceptance World

onemoretimewithfeeling:

brandonsadkins:

livesophia:

1. “Happy Holidays!”
Translation: “Merry Christmas but I realise you might be Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Bahai, something even more exotic, agnostic or Godless and I don’t want to offend you.”

2. “Have a nice day.”
Translation: “I would like you to have a pleasant time today” or “I hate you” - or anything in between.

3. “You’re welcome.”
Translation: Meaningless Pavlovian response to thank you.

4. “Do the math.”
Translation: “Work it out yourself, stupid.”

5. “Let’s visit with each other.”
Translation: “We should spend time together.”

6. “How are you today?”
Translation: “We mean nothing to each other, but let’s pretend.”

7. “Good luck with that.”
Translation: “You have no chance at all.”

8. “Oh my gosh!”
Translation: “I fear you may feel that taking the Lord’s name in vain is blasphemous.”

9. “Can I use your bathroom?”
Translation: “I would like to use your lavatory.”

10. “Not so much.”
Translation: “That’s completely wrong.” Used on me in classic fashion by a Clinton aide back in February.

What American says #5 regularly?

 I loathe ‘it’s not that big of a deal.’ Makes no sense. 

My two pence.